the end is here

This is the nineteenth post for this blog and will be the last. Since my last entry we have met about six times. I say about six because we decided not to meet regularly but as and when we wanted to. Generally though we have met up almost every week. In that time we have had a Jeremy Clarkson - style evening when we looked at a variety of different biblical qualities (love; compassion; gentlenes) and tried to rank them in order of importance. We talked about what faith might mean. I tried to get the group to think about mission and perhaps to actually do something missional/incarnational. One of the group asked a colleague to come and talk to us about her faith. She was a member of the Baha'i faith, a muslim sect. This last meet was with a view to see how she lived out her faith and so perhaps from a broader perspective see how we might do so from a christian perspective. The last meeting got us to talk ajbout whether we continued or not.
As you will have noticed, I have not blogged about these until now and this is, in part, because of the guidelines we set at the first meeting - that these issues we discuss are private and not for publication. The group quickly knew what it didn't want to happen but not so keen to discuss what it did want.
I had great aspirations for Trees Walking as a group of committed christians 'going out there' and delivering the kingdom of God to the world. To discover God in each other and marvel at what God was doing and be encouraged.
This hasn't happened for two reasons:

1. This was new group forming who didn't know each other and so some 'norming' had to happen. Some four months on we are a little more comfortable with each other.
2. The group didn't want it. When ever I suggested something that might make us gel together and have a more unified vision, it was politely ignored - by everyone.
   

So one might be forgiven for thinking that my leadership was at fault. In fact the group have been very complimentary about how I have steered us. You could be forgiven for thinking that the group is lazy and not up to mission. Again you would be wrong.

I am, in truth, finding it hard to say exactly why I can't divulge too much. You see, the trouble with Boomers is that they are quite resourceful and have found this web site, so my content is really quite limited although they have found it interesting reading (Technorati can be very useful!). Now, you might be thinking from this entry that Trees Walking has not been successful, and there you would be wrong. Our last meeting was a resounding 'we want to continue'. So we seem to have achieved very few (if any) of my objectives but we are continuing. I asked, 'what do you want to do? What do you want to talk about? What topics do you want me to research do we can have an informed discussion?' The answer was, ' we don't want a leader but a facilitator. We just want to talk'.
Trees Walking as provided a safe space to talk about our doubts and fears. About who God might be and how he talks to us. It has allowed us to ask questions we would not have otherwise had the freedom to, like, 'Is there really a God at all?'. It has provided a place to belong for those of us who don't attend church - who can't attend church because of the damage church has inflicted.
How successful has it been? Of course qualitative data is always difficult. But one person was very loosely connected with us and as we talked over coffee about doubts they said something like, ' I just needed to talk. And do you know, I do believe' . From being on the edge of slipping away from all you have believed over years to feeling more secure and comfortable and to start to re-build one's faith must be a resounding success. We have not 'lost' anybody but gained people along the way. Trees Walking is not a house group and nor is it a Fresh Expression. We have not sung any worship songs; have not prayed (except when the muslim woman prayed for us); have not had any collection (it has cost nothing except the coffee on the first meet and pancakes). In fact we have not done any of the things any of the things one might associate with a group of Christians or with faith-building. I asked what was it about the group that made it positive for us. They said that they didn't know, except that when they went away they felt relaxed and more connected. We may not know each other very well, but that, it seems is a positive benefit. Everyone can just say what they feel without worrying about someone elses's feelings - after all no one seems to have worried too much about their feelings so it has been cathartic to have an honest discussion about the inadequacies of church and the ability to say 'I don't think there really is a God anyway'. There is much more to say but that would betray the groups' trust and that has been done by others in the past. This has been a safe space and I intend to keep it that way.

If you have stumbled across this site and are interested in finding out more,please e mail me. I am having people that I have never met before from literally hundreds of miles away asking to know more. They are interested in a place where they can be honest and say that church 'sucks' but they feel that God might just still be alive somewhere inside of them.
A contact e mail for me is, timmoore1@hotmail.co.uk.
By the way the blog has so far been pretty useless. The people I asked to comment haven't and that is probably due to us doing things that are new and in the most part untried. What does seem to have happened is that people have been able to connect with God again without going to church.